Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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