You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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