i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
