and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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