I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
