You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
