Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize