Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I smell stomach acid.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
