it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties