just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"