He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Why did my mother make you get naked?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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