if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over