alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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