I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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