That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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