Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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