had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
