if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
