You're completely useless in the revolution.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
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you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
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I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
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