Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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