She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
