I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
