Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Drake has all the answers
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
