How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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