your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
