My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Randomize
