What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
