when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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