I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
