Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
