i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
