yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
