I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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