The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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