so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize