You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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