READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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