I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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