If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
