office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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