oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Acid is not a monday night drug
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
