In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
