Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
