in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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