how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
