I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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