DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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