okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
