Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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