i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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