Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
