I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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