I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
