just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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