Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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