She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
