I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize